Selena Jaramillo - ella/she/her
I am a nepantlera–I exist in a state of in-between as a biracial Xicana with broken Spanish. For as long as I can remember, I have been on an endless search for an identity–a label I could claim as my own, something I and society could agree on, to make sense of my complex existence. I was on an endless search for a community that recognized me as whole. Stuffing down years of struggle, hiding behind accolades and achievements in school, eventually leading me to the most heart opening yet dispiriting accomplishment of all: my identity as a public educator.
After a few years of teaching, I found myself in an incredibly dark space. A space that no matter how much energy and love I poured into, I couldn’t seem to bring myself, my students and my community out. I left the classroom defeated, but found my way forward through nepantla. I enrolled in grad school, yoga teacher trainings and Reiki courses to recenter myself and my commitment to my community. It was an opportunity to recognize that in order to give the energy and love I wanted to my community and my students, I needed to give that to myself first. I was determined to heal.
I returned to the classroom after a year, and began my path teaching high school Ethnic Studies and yoga classes at my alma mater. For many students and for myself, it was the first time we saw ourselves and one another in our full humanity. We created a space of cross-cultural learning and healing. Since then I have recognized that healing in our communities and learning are not separate entities, that learning the achievements, resistance and healing practices of our ancestors can be leveraged to support healing and liberation--the knowledge can be used to intervene in our own suffering and the suffering of others.
My inspiration for nepantla comes from our ancestor, Queer Chicana scholar, writer and activist Gloria Anzaldúa. It was through this learning that I was able to recognize my own existence in nepantla and begin to leverage knowledge of history and self as a pathway to healing. I believe nepantla to be a space that has the capacity for wholeness, and I am in pursuit of reimagining, redefining and reclaiming that for myself, my community and my ancestors.